Christmas, in theory, is a time of joy, connection and togetherness. But for neurodivergent (ND) folk, it can feel more like one giant peppermint-scented panic attack of flashing lights, overbearing strangers and a shrill soundtrack of seasonal songs looping loudly.
For autistic individuals, young and old, and those with ADHD or other sensory profiles, the festive season can be less about cheer and more about managing discomfort – with a side serving of overwhelming smells and small talk.
So, with some practical strategies (and a little empathy), here’s how to make Christmas a little more inclusive for those with unique sensory needs. It may not be a Silent Night, but with a few tweaks, you’ll get through with a little less stress and a bit more calm.
Predictability is a present
Surprises might be part of the season for some, but for many ND people, routine and predictability are essential. Wrapped gifts with unknown contents can cause anxiety. A simple solution is to write a clue on the tag or give a heads-up about the gift. Even better, gift cards can avoid any discomfort altogether. If you or your child prefer to open gifts privately, feel free to let others know.
Plan your quiet place
Whether you’re visiting someone else’s home or hosting, make sure there’s a calm space to retreat to when needed – a shady verandah, a quiet room, or even the car. Pack a sensory survival kit: comfort items, fidgets, headphones, sunglasses – whatever helps soothe and regulate. Show kids where the quiet space is and how to access it. Always ask the host before wandering through their house to find it.
Eat your way
Festive food traditions can be delightful – or a sensory nightmare. If you or your child find certain textures, flavours or smells difficult, bring your own food. There’s no need to explain or apologise. Let kids serve themselves if possible. If that ends up being plain pasta or chicken nuggets, that’s perfectly fine. It’s about comfort, not conformity.
Minimise the small talk
Chatting with extended family or acquaintances can be tiring. It’s okay to stick to brief greetings like “Merry Christmas” or “Lovely to see you” and then gracefully step away. There’s also no rule that says you have to hug or kiss relatives. Teach children they can wave, high-five or fist bump if that feels more comfortable.
Know your limits
Increased sensory input, disrupted routines and social overload can lead to shutdowns or meltdowns. Give yourself and your loved ones grace. Ready-to-cook meals are your friend. You don’t need to serve a traditional spread – festive paper plates with favourite foods work just as well.
Don’t overcommit to social events. One gathering may be plenty. Plan recovery days between activities. Give children time to unwind with drawing, gaming, pets or their favourite show. Quiet time isn’t a luxury – it’s essential.
A neurodivergent-friendly Christmas is one where consent, flexibility and personal comfort take priority over tradition or expectations. This season, let’s choose calm over chaos and joy over pressure
Sally Schofield